#i'm just having A Week and also have been sitting on this for a while lol
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respect || alexia putellas x reader ||
You go back to Alexia after taking some space with the hope to reconcile.
You were absolutely fuming. Alexia had a way of acting like a complete dumbass sometimes. What should have been a nice night out with the team turned into something much more complicated. You wanted to have a good time and enjoy yourself, but then Alexia got jealous. She had a bad habit of getting jealous, and you had finally reached your limit.
It had been over a week and a half since the incident, and you were still pissed. You had seen Alexia since then, but you were wildly good at ignoring her at practice. The two of you lived together, but you hadn't been home since that night. Alexia was hurting, and you were also struggling, but you needed to prove your point.
In the time that you'd been away, you had practically flocked to your older sister. Marta loved you, and she would always take care of you, even if it strained her own relationship a little. You and Caroline were pretty close friends, but it was a little overwhelming for her to live with two very outgoing Spanish women. You knew that you were getting close to the end of your stay, even if you weren't quite ready to face Alexia again.
"Nena, I think that it is time you go back home for a bit. Not a single thing you're wearing right now actually belongs to you." There was a teasing lilt to your sister's voice, but you knew that she was serious. Behind her, you could see Caro standing in the hallway. She seemed a bit more anxious than normal, the kind that came with a certain air of guilt. "I can take you back in a bit."
"It's fine, I'll call a cab," you told her. Marta frowned as she watched you pack up your things. She hadn't meant that you had to leave immediately, but you definitely seemed to take it that way. You weren't mad at her, not really, but Marta knew that it would be a good idea to steer clear of you for the rest of the week.
You had always been very passionate, and with that came a lot of different feelings. Marta knew how hard it could be for you to calm down. Something seemingly small would stay with you for so long, and despite all of the work you had done to stop that habit, you could never quite shake it.
Marta sighed as you seemed to be gone before she could really stop you. A part of her wondered if she had made the right decision sending you away so early. She knew that things with Alexia could potentially get much worse, especially if Alexia was mad at you for stepping away for so long. Marta hadn't ever seen the two of you fight, but she had been there to pick up some of the pieces in the aftermath. Things between you and Alexia were generally pretty good, even if both of you were beyond stubborn.
Alexia's car was gone when your ride dropped you off. Your car was in the garage, so Alexia always parked hers outside, despite it being the nicer vehicle. It was just one of the many things that Alexia did to take care of you. You could be a bit tempermental, but Alexia always tried her hardest to take care of you. It wasn't a good thought, but slowly, you began to wonder if you'd be able to find someone else who was willing to do that.
"Why are you sitting outside? You're getting burned," Alexia said as she ran over towards you. For a moment, you thought she was going to pull you out of the chair, but she skidded to a stop before she could touch you.
"I've been gone for a while, and I wasn't really sure whether you'd want me to come inside after everything," you told her. Alexia scoffed at that as she pulled you into a hug. "I'm sorry that I ran away, I just didn't want the fight to get worse. Please forgive me."
"You did the right thing. I was mad at first, but sometimes I forget how we go back and forth. You'd give me space if I wanted it, and sometimes, I need to remember to give it to you too. I was completely out of line for how I acted that night, and I am sorry, so please forgive me," Alexia pleaded with you. She held you in the hug to keep you from seeing her cry, but you could feel the tears begin to soak through the collar of the shirt you were wearing.
"Of course I forgive you, Ale," you told her. Alexia's body sagged down a bit as she relaxed in your arms. "Can we go inside now please?"
Alexia nodded as she wrapped her arm around your waist. You let her stay tucked against you as the two of you went inside. Alexia only let go of you once you were inside to go back out and grab your bag for you. You went straight into the bedroom to shower and change into clothes that were actually yours as Alexia started a load of laundry and called to order lunch for the two of you.
"I know that we kind of made up already, and I do not want to upset you, but I think we need to talk about what happened. Could we try to do that in a calm manner?" Alexia asked you. You nodded as you made room for her to sit with you on the bed. You knew that Alexia really didn't want to fight because she had brought the takeout to you instead of leaving it in the living room for later. "Will you please go first? I'd like to know what exactly happened that upset you so much."
"You embarrassed me in front of everybody. It's hard enough for the team to see me as my own person. I've been Marta's baby sister, then I was your girlfriend, and right when I started to feel like me, you showed everybody different," you told her. Alexia's face softened as she listened to you explain your feelings. She had never really thought about things like that before. You had always just been (Y/n) to her, but as she thought about it, the more she realized that she saw many people refer to you in regards to someone else.
"Yes, you're Marta's sister and my girlfriend, but that's not all you are. It isn't anybody else's fault that the world doesn't understand your value. I forget that not everybody knows you like I do, so I am sorry for stepping in the way I did. You know how I get, but if you're willing to be patient, I will work on being better," Alexia promised you. There was never going to be a world where you wouldn't give Alexia a second chance.
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Ashen Knight 10
This takes place some weeks after Jaune began working at the manor.
Willow: *drinking tea with Jaune* Ah~ it has been so long since i could enjoy the company of someone who wasn't only interested in profit or favors. *Sigh of contentment, smiling at the knight* And i'm truly glad your daughter is getting along with my childrens. *Chuckle* I was quite surprised when Winter said she had a new friend. *Her smile grows melancholic* I wish she could make more...
Rk: *smiling with empathy* I know how you feel, Miss Schnee-
Willow: *laughing* Oh please, you can call me Willow. I am not that old yet.
RK: *chuckle* Willow then. *Looking as the kids are reading his story together* Cinder... She didn't have the luxury to be a kid.
Willow: *nodding* You are her adoptive father, yes?
RK: *sad smile* yeah... She didn't have any friends, or much of anything really. Seeing her laugh and smile when she is happy, cry when she is sad or even make a tantrum when things don't go her way... *Looking at Cinder, who's debating with Weiss and Whitley over which character was the best while Winter was just having fun reading stories to them* It's my greatest treasure.
Willow: *also looking at the scene* ... Tell me, Jaune... How did you connect with her? I... I want to be there for them, but...
RK: *sigh* ... *Getting up, extending his hand to Willow* Would you like it if i showed you? *Smiling kindly at the woman*
Willow: *looking up at the knight, her heart fluttering for a moment* ... *Sigh with a smile, taking his hand* I would love to, yes.
RK: *bringing her to the children, making her sit next to him as he began recounting his "stories" to them, involving Willow when some characters needed feminine voice*
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This week’s writer spotlight feature is: @cuips-not-cute! cuips_not_cute has six fics in the Stranger Things fandom on AO3 and all of them are in the Steddie tag!
Our anonymous nominator recommends the following works by @cuips-not-cute:
he could be brave
blood is an aphrodisiac
honeyed affection
blinking red light
cyclical
"cuips is a master of taking the reader on an emotional roller coaster ride. The amount of times I've laughed and cried at the same time reading his fics have been too numerous to count. Especially the depth of the sex scenes and the character beats and growth they portray are gorgeous to read - and also very titillating. I love Steve and Eddie in every one of cuips stories, adore the little mannerisms they are given and the way they interact with each other and other characters. Besides the inspiring prose cuips can pull off a plot like few other people I've found so far - since blinking red light is still ongoing, I'll just point to cyclical for that. I'm very thankful to cuips for writing and posting these stories and for being a very active part of this lovely fandom." -- anonymous
Below the cut, @cuips-not-cute answered some questions about their writing process and some of their recommended work!
Why do you write Steddie?
i don’t even know. i was happily in the ofmd fandom when i watched season 4 almost three years ago now (oh god) and then the characters… they got me. i fear they’ll never leave.
What’s your favorite trope to READ?
god, so many. they’re all kinda the same flavor though so i’ll list out what i’m always filtering for to find a new fic: bottom/sub eddie, creature/monster eddie, post s4, canon compliant, soft dom steve, sex pollen, spit kink, rimming (perhaps my FAVORITE ever thing to read), switch eddie/switch steve… the list goes on.
What’s your favorite trope to WRITE?
probably also rimming. there’s just something so romantic about eating ass. and i really love to stick with post s4 canon compliant aus, too, i don’t think i’ve written an actual for real au yet, though i do have an idea for one after brl.
What’s your favorite Steddie fic?
i don’t know if i can pick!! my ao3 bookmarks host my many all-time faves, but if you wanna go by the fic i’ve reread the most it’s probably the affliction of the feeling. it’s so fucking good.
Is there a trope you’re excited to explore in a future work but haven’t yet?
YES!!! i have never written omegaverse!!! which is crazy, ‘cause i like it a LOT. i have a post-s4 omegaverse au kicking around in my head currently, and i cannot wait to sink my teeth into all the messy biology and politics that come with the omegaverse.
What is your writing process like?
chaotic, in a word. usually, i’ll get a fic idea while i’m balls-deep in writing another fic so i’ll shove it to the side and let it simmer while i finish that first one, then i’ll spend a good long while planning it out in ridiculous detail, and THEN i’ll start actually drafting. i like to have a fully fleshed out outline and a couple chapters written and edited before i start posting, and once posting begins i tend to deviate quite a bit from my outline but it’s all good fun.
Do you have any writing quirks?
definitely. i don’t like pointing them out for fear of other folks seeing them in everything i do, but they’re there. one that i don’t mind so much is my absolute abuse of the word “little.” everything is “a little” of this, “a little” of that, but i try to cut my usage down significantly while i’m editing.
Do you prefer posting when you’ve finished writing or on a schedule?
i always TRY to keep a schedule but… yeah. it never works. i’m far too busy for one, but attempts are made. i’d like to one day write a fic in full before posting it, because i think it’d be a whole lot better if i let it sit for that long but lord, i sure do like getting ao3 comments on every chapter. they make the writing motivation go WAY up.
Which fic are you most proud of?
brl, definitely. that fucker is LONG and i’m barely halfway through it. i think i’ve done a lot of cool things with it and i’m going to do some more cool things and i’ve made a lot of really awesome friends in the process of writing it so it’s got some pretty insane sentimental value to me. it’s definitely going to be a fic i’ll miss writing once i finish it, but that’s what the epilogue series is for!!!
How did you get the idea for blinking red light?
from another fic!!! @racketghost is the author of one of my favorite things i’ve ever read, which is the good omens zach and miri au, closed set (https://archiveofourown.org/works/23320960/chapters/55862155 <- hyperlinked), wherein crowley has been lying about the existence of some angelic sex tapes to all of hell, and then he and aziraphale have to actually make the tapes. it’s awesome. it’s gorgeous. brl is one big giant love letter to this fic, because it means so fucking much to me and i think about it ALL the time.
When writing honeyed affection, what was something you didn’t expect?
hmm, i don’t know? ha is, i think, a pretty easygoing fic with lots and lots of porn stuffed inside it, and that was all i intended it to be so i cannot think of anything i was surprised by!!
What inspired blood is an aphrodisiac?
i just wanted to write vampire eddie. it was july ‘22, kas theories were everywhere, i had to try it. these days i think i would change a LOT about it because my ideas and hcs surrounding the characters have evolved significantly, but i’ll write vampire eddie again and “fix” everything i no longer like about biaa.
What was your favorite part to write from he could be brave?
…the fisting. i genuinely think some of my best writing is in that scene, and while i feel the same way about this fic as i do biaa, the fisting scene will always hold a special place in my heart. i’m very, very excited to write the fisting chapter in brl because of this scene. fisting rules.
How do/did you feel writing cyclical?
i wrote cyclical during a very weird few months of my life, so writing it was sort of my way of dealing with all the insane shit going on around me, and i think it shows. in a good way, though, because cyclical is a timeloop fic so it needed to be a little angsty and insane. i’m stupidly proud of that fic. @ryeallytired actually BOUND it into a PHYSICAL BOOK and SENT IT TO ME and when i tell you that is the singular most precious object i own, i mean it.
What was the most difficult part of writing blinking red light?
PLOTTING THAT BITCH. GOD. i’m so happy to be actually WRITING it now, the planning was genuinely so brutal. my issue was that i was sticking too close to the plot of closed set (<3) which just… did not work for steddie. closed set’s premise centers around crowley lying about making sex tapes, yes, but he lied about them to PROTECT aziraphale, which is the messiest, kindest, riskiest fucking thing ever. and it’s awesome. in the early planning stages of brl, i was trying to put eddie in the crowley role of lying about having made sex tapes with steve, but it reallyyy didn’t work. there was an oc and i absolutely hated him, plus i didn’t like what that premise was doing to eddie’s character… ugh. it was a MESS. it took several rubber duck-ing conversations with my brilliant friend @lollaika and a rewatch of zach and miri to finally realize that it had to be STEVE who brings up the idea of sex tapes so that he could protect eddie, rather than eddie bringing it up to save his own hide (yikes).
Do you have a favorite scene and/or line from any of your fics?
oooh, lots. reallyyyy loved chapter 8 of cyclical with all of the pov shifts, that was super fun to write. i also really enjoyed writing the dry humping/sex tape convo in the first chapter of brl, and i’m stupidly excited to write chapters 12, 13, 15, and 17, because of specific scenes that will happen in each.
Do you have any upcoming projects or fics you’d like to share/promote?
i do!! after brl is completed i’ll have to choose from two story ideas (because i cannot have two wips at once or i’ll get SO stressed), one being a semi-realistic steddie cowboy au based off my own experiences with growing up on a farm and featuring messy, earnest cowboys and not-fully-human eddie, and the other being the omegaverse au i want to write, which will have a very fun mix of vampire eddie, dubcon bitching, and accidental mating bites!!!
Outside of these questions, Is there anything YOU would like to add?
i cannot think of anything!! this was super fun :D
Thank you to our author, @cuips-not-cute, and our anonymous nominator! See more of cuips_not_cute's works featured on our page throughout the day!
Writer’s Spotlight is every Wednesday! Want to nominate an author? You can nominate them here!
#writer's spotlight#writer's wednesday#ao3 writer#steddie writers#steddie#steddie fic recs#steve harrington#eddie munson#steve x eddie#stranger things
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Leaving
Masterlist
I'm using ASL here. Sadly I don't know sign language or anyone who speaks it, so all my knowledge comes from the internet.
Tw: mention of past torture, broken bones, mouth whump
Everest was confused, to say the least. As he finally regained consciousness, he felt a soft padding under his back, a blanket covering him, and the familiar contact of his teddy bear tucked in his arms.
Has it all been a nightmare, again ? It all felt so real, the pain of the crowbars breaking his bones, the fear and the tears...
But when he tried to straighten up, sharp jolts of pain coursed through his body, paralysing him for a moment. He was in pain, every joint screaming in agony. Now he could feel the itchy bandages wrapped around his limbs and torso.
The vampire fell back on the soft surface, his nails digging into his palms as he tried to steady his breathing. Something was tugging at the corner of his mouth and he instinctively reached to scratch at it, stopping as he felt the stitches under his skin.
Suddenly, Everest heard a soft click next to him. His mind reeled before identifying the sound as a car door opening. He tensed when he felt a hand run through his hair, but relaxed as he recognized the voice:
- Hey little guy. You slept for a while.
The vampire let out a series of soft chirps, reaching out with a shaky hand toward Raphael. He felt another jolt of pain as the man helped him into a sitting position, his supporting arms the only thing holding him upright.
- You're in my car. I... I decided it would be safer to take a little distance from the city. And, uh, remember what I wanted to tell you about before... You know ?
Everest shook his head, instantly regretting it as the stitches holding his jaw together sent flashes of pain through his face.
Raphael squeezed his shoulder before continuing:
- I did a lot of research about vampires during the past few weeks. There's a lot of, well, hunter's forum, but also some weirder stuff. I found someone's address, they say he's the one we need to speak with. To find the others.
The vampire couldn't understand much, still a bit dazed from the pain and fear, but he did catch the last word. He stared blindly at Raphael, feeling a mix of emotions.
Others. He would meet other vampires. Maybe, just maybe he would find his family? People he knew before being captured?
He knew better than to hope. But he couldn't help it.
- Oh and also... Have you ever heard of sign language?
Taglist : @sausages-things @jumpywhumpywriter @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question @idk-whumpalt
#blind whumpee#vampire whump#vampire whumpee#mute whumpee#nonhuman whumpee#whumpblr#whump writing#whump community#whump
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What I'm not clear on is what more Israel should have done to let aid in.
When Israel ended Hamas's control over the Rafah crossing on the Gaza side, Egypt retaliated by refusing to let aid in through that crossing. Hamas had been bombing the Kerem Shalom crossing, so that was closed too - and even when it was open, aid groups couldn't come pick up aid there, because it wasn't safe. Which meant that for a while, NO aid was coming into the south.
After two weeks, Kerem Shalom was open again and the US was telling Egypt to knock it off and just let the aid go through there.
At that point, 82,000 metric TONS of aid had been sitting lined up in trucks, in Egypt, starting to rot.
What I don't get is, at what point have there been tons of trucks lined up for weeks in Israel? The only thing I've heard of - and I've looked - is humanitarian orgs complaining, last year, that there were too many inspections and the process to get aid approved and sent into Gaza was too slow and unclear.
But that doesn't seem to have been the case since at least January or February.
I've seen massive problems DISTRIBUTING the aid. Not only with Hamas, but with the World Food Programme repeatedly ragequitting as well.
IIRC, it has repeatedly announced that distribution is "too chaotic," the trucks get mobbed, the drivers are scared, it's hard to get all the food all the way there, and that therefore it's taking its toys and going home. That happened at the end of January. Then it came back at the end of February, and almost immediately quit again. Then it refused to consider air drops, to the point that its director (Cindy McCain) actually blocked the Gazan activist (Ahmed Fouad Alkhatib) who was advocating for this. Then it FINALLY got on board, helped with the air drops, complained it wasn't enough, and I THINK started driving aid distribution in the north again. But it was making quitting noises about that again, last time I checked.
I think both Egypt and WFP deserve some blame here, obviously. But I also am not seeing what Israel should have done to get more aid to the crossings, or through them.
What for you specifically makes Bibi a war criminal? Genuine question because people never want to explain this and act like you're fundamentally stupid for asking. I hate Bibi but like what specifically makes him a war criminal?
So I'll first start with the ICC claim per their website
“The Chamber considered that there are reasonable grounds to believe that both individuals intentionally and knowingly deprived the civilian population in Gaza of objects indispensable to their survival, including food, water, and medicine and medical supplies, as well as fuel and electricity, from at least 8 October 2023 to 20 May 2024”
So to sum it up, it isn't necessarily Israel's actions which constitute a war crime as war is always horrific and damages infrastructure, it's their inaction to put any measures in place to maintain water, electricity, food and aid.
About 90 percent of Gaza’s water supply comes from the Coastal Aquifer Basin, which runs along the eastern Mediterranean coast from Egypt through Gaza and into Israel. And most of that is not safe drinking water and has to be cleaned by water treatment plants in Gaza which a lot have been damaged in the war.
The treatment plants were not fixed as Israel was worried the materials would be hijacked by Hamas to use for weapons instead. Which is a valid concern, however no alternative water access through bottled water or any other way was put in place. Hence the war crime.
Gaza relies heavily on Israel for basic things like water and electricity because instead of spending money on building a good solid infrastructure, where they don't need to rely on Israel, they invested in tunnels.
In terms of food and other aid, Bibi could have done more to let aid in. Yes hamas steals food and aid, which is partly why Deif was also issued a warrant (although the main reason for his was Oct 7th). However Israel is still responsible for how many aid trucks they let in. Because the Israeli government knew of Hamas stealing aid, they could have let more in, but they didn't. Yes it's not their responsibility to rectify the terrible things Hamas does to Palestinians, but also they knew not enough aid was getting to Palestinian civilians and didn't do anything, and the situation causing the need for aid was Israel's actions in Gaza. Both bibi and hamas are at fault for the lack of food, none are 100% to blame.
Since I mentioned Deif, I want to touch on his warrant. Israel said he was dead, hamas hasn't confirmed it when they have confirmed deaths of other people Israel has killed. Hence the ICC issued a warrant for him as by ICC standards, it is not confirmed Deif is dead.
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if one person's way of coping is to push people away, become cynical, and reject every outstretched hand, that doesn't make them a bad person and they are still deserving of that outstretched hand and of people taking care of them. if another person's way of coping is to not say what they need, swallow down their anger and hurt feelings, especially in front of the person who keeps pushing them away, they still deserve to be seen and be told their pain is just as valid even if they'd rather break themselves than acknowledge it. but those two people will not be having a healthy relationship. it doesn't matter how unintentionally hurt feelings are caused. it doesn't matter how hard it is to see someone's suffering if they're hiding it. it doesn't make it anybody's fault. but it does trap them in a pattern where one person feels misunderstood and the other person feels neglected. and that is just not going to work long-term.
#going to leave it at that#if it's about what you want it to be about then it is#if you see it differently than that's totally valid too#it's just that. saying one person's behavior is hurtful is not judging their character or negating and devaluing what they've been through#trauma olympics are inappropriate#vague post is vague#i'm just having A Week and also have been sitting on this for a while lol#and i just feel like the discussion about this particular plot is always very one-sided#okay to rb if you want
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hands you guys a grimm
#grimm is one of those characters that i draw scowly more often than not and i'm like. gotta draw you smiling once in a while#love love love its stupid extra teeth. pats myself on the back for that one. 100% catering to my interests#really funny when i draw their teeth tho bc i have a coyote skull on my shelf and i sit there staring at the teeth like#okay how would it feel if i had some of those growing out of my gums in addition to my normal teeth#holds her. in my hands#this week's been busy so i'm just like. rotating it and yarrow in my brain without having super concise thoughts#actually. i have been trying to figure out yarrow's friends a lil#bc like. they're social and good at talking to people and charming in their way so ofc they make friends in the five years between p2 and p#so i imagine he has a little group he hangs with. also an ex i'm trying to figure out hdklfghd#no real names yet but i have nebulous personalities#art#honeybee#grimm
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daily whistlepaw until ah becomes PoV day 1167
I think I finally understand how people feel when around a crush, can't say I enjoy it
#warrior cats#whistlepaw#windclan#medicine cat apprentice#this isn't my first crush lol but this one has had me feel the strongest of feelings (and might be my first genuine crush lol)#the fact I have been building up A Lot of stress for the entire week probably didn't help.#and the fact my stomach hurt is also probably at least partially to explain by the fact I barely ate last night#but MAN seeing my (latest) crush in such a pretty dress and then go on stage and play (a goddess!!!!!!! she's a goddess)#(I already bought tickets to go see the full thing; I will die but I will die happy (I hope))#but yeah I struggled for a good 2 hours to fall asleep and also had stomach weirdness happening the next morning#man it was not fun#(and then she came to sit next to me during class and I had to play it cool (I was too deranged on sleep deprivation to really care about#being my typical brand of weird but I do sometimes feel like an idiot around her and feel guilty because then I fear that she finds me#annoying and will hate me and I will fail this again (losing a friendship over a crush once was not that fun lol) and Traumas don't help#either at all so uh I'm just trying to spend time with her I just always feel a bit worried that I'm annoying her and it's consuming my bra#I do also still feel a little guilty about having this crush; internalized homophobia/issues around sexuality are hard to shake off#and while it's very normal and stuff I never dare to go the entire way when my brain conjures fantasies that are a little too risqué#I just feel guilty man I know I shouldn't but still it fucking sucks in my brain#and god talking about this in therapy would be a mess#I might have to eventually but I don't wanna#anyways; wild vent in the tags aside; yay a whis!
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Oooookay, Hawu'li is technically ready for DT now. Cleaned his inventory, got few spots on retainers free, threw out bunch of unused gear from armory chest and set him both nice whm glam as well as updated swimsuit. Maybe they let us go to the beach upon arriving to Tural haha.
I kinda want to get pics of East Shroud for the wanderer project so I can finish at least Shroud with the old graphics, might get to those tomorrow. Island sanctuary might need a quick look over too - I got that voucher mount during weekend so not much there left, but I'd like to keep it semi functional for dyes and stuff. Also need to get few screens of his current glam just so I can see how he really changes come graphic update haha.
Really wanted to do one of those "outfits in each expansion" things but don't think I have time for that :/ Cosplay for the weekend is still work in progress and I know planning those outfits would take forever, let alone getting any missing pieces farmed.
#neri.txt#maybe i can do the outfit thingy after getting msq done#also yeah i have north shroud pics ready!#took them like 2 weeks ago#i've just been waiting to get any ideas for the lore part#originally i wanted to get all areas done before dt but i've been dragging my feet with it for like. over a year now#so i kinda gave up on that few months ago#but i'd like to get shroud done and then head on next areas (possibly la noscea next) with new graphics#and maybe later reblog the older parts with updated pics#also yeah cosplay should be done in time for con haha#mostly just making sure everything sits okay + sewing decorations on#and i'm not working on it alone so one of us can sew while the other gets the next part ready
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girlies I'm losing my mind.
#personal#vent#oh my goddddd#i thought my coworker and i were finally making decent progress on our project#that we have to present on THURSDAY MORNING#and this is the biggest project we need to do twice a year#only to find. at five fucking pm today. that she had not informed me we are resourcing two of our biggest fabric programs to a new supplier#which supplier? don't know#just know it's not going to be the one I've been planning for#and that the fabric program i DID want to resource#and had SPOKEN TO HER ABOUT TODAY#cannot go to the supplier I pencilled it in as#i don't know if she didn't know herself or just forgot or didn't care or didn't understand or what#for fuck's sake this is your job to know this stuff#don't just sit there looking gormless while i have to find out from YOUR BOSS#who then speaks to me in the most patronizing manner possible as she tells me she can't do my job for me#like motherfucker i just. need. correct. information. jesus christ.#also shout out to the big boss who last week was like tell me if you have any scheduling concerns guys!!!#and then when i told her today i have scheduling concerns because. uh. the fucking project is not going. anywhere. at this rate.#get told oh no sorry we can't do any schedule moves you can figure it out#like???? what???? was the point????? of asking us to come to you????#this is such a prolific fucking issue in my workplace and it drives me nuts#it's like management have heard these trite phrases on a managing people skills course somewhere#and not realised you need to back it up. with actual. actions.#also my manager whomst i loved is now on maternity leave and her replacement is someone i've worked with previously and. hm. suffice to say#she has not changed one bit#in regards to her complete inability to stand up for her team#i'm sure she has her good points but she's as supportive as a fucking wet paper towel#ignoring me trying to set boundaries on my time#but making sure SHE leaves on time for school pickup
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I had an insane day so instead of talking about that I'm gonna juke left and post some of the pictures of my 3 days so far in the Ice Fog up here in the mountains this week lol, I hate driving in it but it's so beautiful
Bonus far away shots from the foothill plains too!
#bestie mutual you were hoping I was doing ok in the mountains and if you add everything up overall I am#but it's been an Experience having to go into the town that I previously lived miserably in for 8 years then left on very sudden bad terms#to get groceries and run errands and just sort of briefly live life again here that feels surreal and sort of bad lol#but the Fog is healing my soul and as long as I don't get taken by it one morning lol then things are improving#I'm forcing myself to go to all the places here that I have a mental block about still this week to move past that one way or the other#I was so scared to go to my favorite restaurant that I went to with my ex so often that we had out picture on the wall#but the old man who runs it remembered me and gave me a huge hug and told me to come back as often as I could while I'm in town#so besides crying in the parking lot for a while that was wonderful lol#ALSO one of the main reasons I'm here is to pet-sit the cat I rescued at the start of the year that the people here adopted#and she's doing SO WELL and remembers me and sleeps on or beside me every night now and snuggles instead of bites and#it really warms my heart I'm so glad she's not only recovered from what should have been certain death but is thriving
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Various images of things
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1. PIBBINS.... cheering clapping hooting hollering glorious applause everytime I see a pigeon in public#2. Birthday card that I drew for someone. .. kittys...#3. 2023's annual haul of tiny white pumpkins.. i get at least one white pumpkin every year around fall when they have pumpkins in stores#because I just love the color and texture ... bright white and smooth and cold and round.. kind of like a volleyball or something#4. A brief adventure into watching big brother (only earlier seasons of course as I hate all reality shows post like 2013 or something when#they became overly focused on social media and overproduced memeable phrases more.. like even though ALL reality shows have always#been extremely fake and annoying and mindless it's like..... newer stuff seems A Different Kind Of Fake or something) since whenever#I'm sick sometimes I find weird mindless things like that to watch (that one time I had bronchitis I watched all of Flavor of Love in my#half awake illness stupor and now everytime I heat up canned minestrone soup (mostly all I ate that week) I think of flavor flav since#thats just a weird brain connection I have now lol) ANYWAY.. I was sick and watched like 2 seasons of this and then thought it was too#uninteresting and obnoxious to continue (more like 1 and a half since I skipped the rest of one once only boring people were left) BUT this#one guy had a very mischevious looking face and he also said a few things (like the above captioned speech) that sounded like dialogue#some fantasy character would say.. so I took a screencap of him and edited him into a mischevious wizard i guess.?? idk I was sick lol#~your little friend has a poisoned tongue~ is just a very unexpectedly serious sounding wording for some random normal#frat dude looking guy to say while casually chatting on a reality tv show in like 2008 or whenever that was filmed lol#5. FLUFFY CLOVERS!! I'd never seen them be furry and soft before?? inchresting..#6. Noodle sitting in bed with the cat figurines looming above him... the council of kittys...#7. McDonald's full breakfast platter + asparagus + strawberries & cream (also of course this is old and I am now boycotting mcdonalds etc)#i try to group the images somewhat consistently like.. winter stuff with winter stuff or summer stuff with summer stuff#but I have so many random pictrues floating around on my computer that I never post that sometimes some are not organized or just#thrown into a set because there's nowhere else for them. Like the pigeon picture is from like 3 years ago for example lol#8 & 9 - I think I've posted these before but I just find them very interesting looking flowers. whenever they happen to be blooming#I'll pick up a few when I'm out on walks or etc. ... poof ball looking things#photo diary
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don't u love that I went from working oldest to newest on my drafts to working newest to oldest?
#I feel bad bc those ones in the middle just end up sitting in there longer#but this is what's working for me now and it's working weirdly well & I'm trying not to jinx it#so I'm just rolling with it :x#I'M GETTING THROUGH THINGS AGAIN that's what matters but I feel bad if I was getting closer to Urs#and now suddenly it's gonna be even longer before I get there abfkgdh#but I usually have stronger muse for the newer stuff so like?? it's def flowing better this way#let's me keep up with the new stuff while also making my way toward some of the older#it was more daunting to do it that way before when I had like 60 drafts but at 30?? I'm kinda just chillin suddenly idek#........i hate the number of typos writing tags on mobile causes me jfc#ANYWAY. point is I'm doin stuff again and also I love u guys I hope ur week's been going well 💜#━━ ˟ ⊰ ✰ ooc ⋮ don’t @ me.
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in relation to what we were just talking about , but . how does grace cope with all the bullshit that happens to her in the week the game takes place in ? can she sleep ? does she cry or have any sort of breakdown privately ? or does she sort of just . not let herself stop and think about the trial ( yet at the same time be motivated by it ) and all these petty and spiteful fucks getting in her way ?
for the most part, grace is just pushing through and not letting herself stop. i think she knows there's literally no time for it; she can't give herself the luxury to process everything that's happening to her because each moment wasted on that is a moment less to figure out what happened and prove her innocence.
which means she gets terribly stressed out whenever whoever is helping her tells her to just wait. not only it's time she feels she could be using to act, waiting is when everything threatens to catch up to her and she can't stop. she doesn't wanna risk not being able to pick herself up again.
she sleeps very little, and mostly only because the stress and exhaustion of everything happening in such a short time just knocks her out eventually (i know apollo wanted her to rest but consider: she can't relax). i feel for the most part grace is either acting or considering what to do next. i could say preparing but honestly people keep her in the dark about what she's supposed to do next so often that the most she can prepare is like. preparing herself to face anything jsdnfakjsnd
and so she does! going to a club and facing down a goddess in a song battle? sure. going to the reliquary to find the minotaur? okay. going to a party no one wants to tell her anything about and adapting as she learns? will do. there's no other choice. so she just faces whatever bullshit people throw at her the best she can (as she says in my favorite reply to athena after it's determined there will be a trial, and the one reply i'd keep as canon for my blog: okay, it's unfair but it is what it is. she'll do her best. it's all she can do).
i think the only breakdown she has is very visible and it happens when freddie dies. it's also the one moment i feel she'd falter because to her, her life isn't worth more than freddie's. there's this dialogue option where she says 'it should've been me' that i feel is very fitting with how she'd feel about it. and at least with apollo, his reply ends with something like 'freddie gave you a chance' — that honestly is something i feel would lead her to keep pushing through. freddie died to give her a chance. she won't squander that opportunity, no matter how much she wishes things had been different. it's the least she can do when it's what freddie would've wanted her to do.
other than that, no, she never stops to cry or despair or breakdown even in private. all her energy is dedicated to keep going, no matter what happens. people around her might forget her life is on the line, but she doesn't. they might act like there is time, but she can't, she knows there isn't. it's definitely not stopping to think about it while keeping it as a motivator; a very serious threat that keeps her going but that she won't examine too closely so she won't breakdown.
after the trial, it'd probably take days for the sense of impending danger and the adrenaline and anxiety of being Constantly dealing with something to finally fade. and when it did... well.. that's when i think she'd really start to process it. to cry and feel the weight of it full force and be happy she's alive and be angry she had to go through all that and be devastated about freddie's loss. even then, i'd consider everything that happened pretty traumatic, from calliope dying in her arms to being sentenced to death to having a week to prove her innocence and everything that happens there. it's not like she'd get over it fast. it wouldn't stop haunting her soon after it was done. she can't just forget about it.
she'd definitely be on guard and have trouble sleeping, and i think the restlessness also lingers. i think her keeping herself so busy after the trial is also a means to cope; still not letting herself stop for too long or think too hard about what happened. hoping given time it'll be distant enough she won't have trouble with it anymore.
#we were playing today and some of the dialogue really just. cemented to me she's just on#'have to keep going my life literally depends on it' mode#i don't think she'd stop and take a breath even once the whole week#and i think she only sleeps when she. can't stay awake anymore#also after freddie's death before you talk to apollo/persephone grace is sitting on the couch#just staring at the table where freddie's hat is#and the camera even does this thing to show her view and how unfocused it becomes and i just#think she'd have been like that for a while#that after freddie dies she seriously has a moment of 'what's even the point of this my best friend died bc of me'#and that it's the only moment she really falters and lets things catch up to her a little#but mostly it's just freddie's death that is so. overwhelming and fills her with so much grief and sorrow and guilt she's#close to giving up before being convinced this isn't what freddie wanted#i'm rambling#DSFIASDFJASIDJF#thanks for the ask mars#mwah#* grace: study.
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Uni lecture is making me think about my future for a minute and auuuggghhhh the agonies
#personal#taking a brief break from it bc the feeling hasnt quite overwhelmed me yet but i dont think I'm going to be okay by the end of it!#its asking me to consider what my strengths are. what kind of role I'd like to have in the industry when i graduate#these are questions that i SHOULD certainly have answers to but they kind of just make me not wanna be alive yk? bc i have no answers#I'm not really good at much. like the things I'm best at I'm still completely unexceptional#what are my strengths? don't have any. next question#what job do i want to have in the industry? well that requires an answer to the first question doesn't it#not to mention it requires me to think about graduating and having a job and I've simply never imagined myself getting that far#and i can only give this so much of my attention span bc I'm also thinking about how hard i failed my modules from last semester#my best grade this year has been a c#one of them is a marginal fail meaning i do the reassessment this year (i think)#the other is a hard f. what does that mean? do i resit the entire course next year? maybe#and i can't look it up just yet bc i need to make it through the lecture bc I'm really far behind this other module already#and it's only week 3 and i have a presentation tomorrow#and if i stop watching it im not convinced I'll bring myself to start watching again!#so instead i was just sitting here trying not to get overwhelmed by all of the things i should be thinking about!!!#that's why I'm making the post tbh. just to organise my thoughts and get it out of my system and give myself time to breathe#and my phone keeps buzzing while i type and if it does that one more time i will launch us both out of the window I'm so fucking done#semester has barely begun and im so fucking overwhelmed already#I've joked about being the token nt mutual before but honestly the past few years I've just been getting gradually more convinced I'm not#this can't be how everyone else is experiencing life. surely#like dude I'm so out of fucking touch w the concept of being a human#so in summary: augh the agonies
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You know you're getting old when you're thinking about flooring
#rambling in the tags#this 1am.post is brought to you by: I'm moving this week#and the landlord replaced like. 75-90% of the flooring with hardwood???#(tbf some of it was already there so i think they're trying to match/go with a theme but-)#even the bedrooms and (i think) bedrooms#it loos fine! great even! hdbsh#i just have a walker/rollator and am worried that im gonna scratch the floor (probably won't but still have that fear ya know?)#also i think i just prefer carpet#we're looking at maybe eventually renting to own one day maybe (it's a nice house and we're not moving for a while after this)#and if we somehow do then im definitely changing the floors#been sitting here imagining it haha-#(probably doesn't help we move in this weekend so im just waiting for that/unpacking)#(just. have the excitement to decorate the new place ig?)#i drank mt. dew and now im exhausted but also can't sleep send hell#hell help same thing ig#1 am ramblings#(idk why im tagging that i hope it's not a consistent thing)#ALSO congrats to anyone who reads all this and sorry for the rambles (i think?)#may you find them most entertaining! :3
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